As many of you know, we are expecting a little Hoot OR Annie Junior and that leaves Annie drinking far more water and club soda (with a splash of cranberry and a lime) than anything else. Now, to be completely honest she does have the occasional sip or does the “sip and spit” maneuver that most wine drinkers consider a party foul…but it’s just NOT the same for me!
Some have said I shouldn’t drink while Annie is pregnant and, well, that just ain’t gonna happen people. But before you go thinking that I’m just being selfish, I got a permission slip from Annie herself. No reason for both of us to go without! We’ve had other people offer to be my drinking buddy during Annie’s down time but that too just isn’t the same, although I’m certainly not turning folks down.
So What is the Answer?
To be honest, there isn’t one other than to adapt and move forward, which is actually the point of this article. She’s okay with not drinking…and, it’s nothing compared to having a baby and growing into our role as parents as the time nears, and, we will adapt to this as well.
Humans are masterful at the art of adapting. We are resilient, each of us constantly growing and changing; however, the funny thing is just how much we bitch and complain about the things that go on in our lives…we look at things with such a negative tone rather than flip it around and understand that this thing we’re viewing negatively may actually be an absolutely amazing gift and open doors to a far better situation.
Miscarriages and Cancer
When Annie and I had a miscarriage in December of 2011 we literally spent a day being confused and upset, but we grabbed our backbones and realized that we had zero control over it…so we could sit and stew or we could jump the hell up and move on to the next party. A friend of ours recently revealed she had breast cancer and went in for surgery, but the crazy thing is that I did not hear a negative word spoken by her, not even once. The positivity that came from her situation is that hundreds, more like thousands, of people came out to show her support, love, and good thoughts during her challenges.
Now, some of you may say that having cancer (or a miscarriage) is not worth it in order to see all that support and love…but I beg to differ. We are human and the one thing we want at the end of the day is to be loved and accepted, and yes, sometimes it takes dire situations for the world to pause and hug you.
Choices and Perspective
I have discussed “choices and perspective” a lot, as well as thought about it, read about it, and worked on my own “choices and perspectives”…I don’t know of any more powerful tools in our toolbox than these two things. We can choose to focus on the negative like a miscarriage, cancer, or temporarily losing your drinking buddy; but the fact is that if you are conscious of your choices and of your perspective you can LIVE your life until your last breath is taken. The other choice is to be clinically alive but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually dead to the world.
We’re choosing to live this crazy, big, sometimes painful but always rewarding life!
To bring it all home now, I am not upset about losing my drinking buddy or the miscarriage we had in December. And, I can say that our friend that just had breast cancer surgery seems to be firing on all cylinders (she says she has good drugs now too) when it comes to her positive attitude toward her situation.
We can own our situations or let the situations own us. Pause for just a moment…when I say we own our situations, I mean that we own every single situation we are ever in…period. We may lose our house to a natural disaster or someone we love to some hideous disease, but we own how we choose to carry on or not carry on. By all means, it’s fine for us to cry and be really angry or feel defeated and want to give up…but once you’re done doing that, grab your backbone and pick your shit up, there’s still a life to live out there until there isn’t.
YOU are the author of YOUR book…what’s the ending look like?
Well said Hoot, spot on, we can all get in our pity party from time to time, but a good wake up call (slap in the face) or friends telling it like it is like what you just wrote is a good way to snap out of our depression, anxiety, stress, we can’t escape what life throws at it. Let me tell you I’ve had my share, but thank goodness my health is fine. Taking care of the elderly (my mother) can be stressful in itself as they get cranky, constantly complaining and putting you down no matter how much you try and please them, it takes a toll on your emotional being. I can only do the best I can, and then pray. Take care of yourself and Annie, don’t worry about her not being your drinking partner right now, as you have someone more important waiting for you. You have my support. Cheers!
You rock Bev, awesome comment!! I totally agree, it’s okay to have down times/ bad times but as you say, we need that “slap in the face” from time to time to remember to pick ourselves up and go on with life. Changing our perspective on things always helps…I like saying that it can always be worse, so be thankful for what you got! Cheers Bev!!
Absolutely perfectly put, Matt. I’ve been pondering and blogging about perspective and similar things all week. Must be something in the air. 🙂
Hey there Kim…I have to say, I’m starting to feel like this is or will be part of my legacy or something. I think about this human experience constantly…and what I’ve found is that choice and perspective are the most important things we have in the toolbox, as I said in the article. Anyways…I appreciate your comment. I will check out what you wrote about! Cheers!
You haven’t “lost” your drinking partner…you’re gaining a new family member. Change is good, even great, and most often it’s exactly what we need in our lives at the time it occurs. It also removes us from a self-centeredness state of being when we’re least aware that that’s the place we can so easily dwell in today’s world. You both will soon return to a new “normal” with the exception of a very special addition to your daily lives…for the rest of your lives. It’s not about the “YOU” anymore, it’s about the “Us”, so enjoy the ride Matt and Annie Browne, as it’s about to take some new and exciting twists and turns (with a few bumps here and there)! Love you guys a ton, and as always, thank you for being so candid and sharing. We can all take away a little something from your perspective 😀
xoxoMomo <3
Really appreciate the comment Mo, as always. You’re right…our life will, and already has, taken some awesome new turns and the adventure only continues. Perspective in this journey is crucial…things can always be worse no matter our current situation and I think it’s really important for people to start reaching out or helping when and where they can. It’s part of my goal with this blog, and other blogs I write on, to push our thinking past the tip of our nose and start seeing the world as it is…a community of people. Cheers!!
I love your comments about keeping the positive viewpoint! In what will seem like three blinks of an eye, you will have a third drinking partner, and a lot to share with him/her!
LOL…great point Kathy!! And thanks for the kind words. Cheers!
Dude, you have the absolute best outlook on life. I’m not envious of it, but I have great respect for it; I always struggle with keeping positive and keeping motivated.
Enjoy the journey of the pregnancy! Drink (and enjoy the designated driver)! Just balance your benefits with not being drunk when you have to make those 3 AM runs for cravings. Oh, and don’t have her drive you around Santa Barbara County at 7 months pregnant while you get blasted… I know from experience 🙂
Cheers to you two, whether we’re clinking glass of wine or club soda!
What up Joe?!?! I appreciate that man, but trust me, this outlook I now have has come from years and years of anger issues, depression, and a shit ton of hard work to get through it all. I’m stoked to be where I’m at and have been extremely lucky to have Annie, without question. As for the drinking advice…I will take it man, you are a smart man!! LOL. Cheers and thanks again!!
Amen! Spot on, no time for “Pity Party”. It’s much more fun to celebrate life no matter what is thrown your way. I guess my analytical brain usually wins, look ay every road block…what am I to learn, what is the positive aspect of the situation; there is always at least one.
Thanks, Denise! Yeah, life is way more fulfilling when you can choose to learn from things instead of letting things control your life. There’s always a way to spin your circumstances and learn from them. Cheers!!!