As any parent knows, the amount of “firsts” when you have a baby is insane. Every single thing is a first…first smile, first tooth, first time crawling, first time walking, and hundreds of other things. We’ve been living through many firsts with our little Sammy and right before Christmas 2012 we had a couple of interesting ones.
These two firsts happened all in the same night. The first one was that Annie and I had a “date night” away from the baby for the FIRST time. A good friend of ours and her daughter came over to relieve us and give us a couple of hours away so we could collect our sanity, have some “us time”, and take a deep breath. At first I thought it would be difficult for me to leave him but it was not anywhere near as bad as I thought. Part of that was due to how much we trust our friends with Sammy and part of it was my understanding of how important it is for Annie and I to have alone time away from the little man.
One of the things we often discussed prior to getting pregnant and through the pregnancy was how crucial it was for Annie and I to be together, solid, on the same page, and focused on each other. It is our opinion that if either one of us made Sammy a priority over the relationship or marriage, then he would be doomed to grow up in a broken family. This is something we want to avoid at all costs. The funniest thing about that first date night though, was that we ended up spending the whole two hours we were gone talking about him and showing pictures of him. I must admit though, we went to a place where we know many of the people and they were asking about him too…so it wasn’t totally our fault!
The second FIRST we had that night was Sammy’s first time not sleeping in the little pack and play crib by our bed…we moved him down the hall to his own room and into his real crib. Other than feeling slightly sad we didn’t seem to have any major issue with this change. I’m not really sure what the sadness I felt was from…possibly due to feeling that even though he is only two and a half months old it seems the journey is going by too fast. Who knows, the adventure of parenthood is certainly different for everyone and there is no one right way to feel or to do things.
Much of what Annie and I have done thus far has been due to instinct, listening to our pediatrician, and online research. We’ve done things as we have felt comfortable not when someone else says they did something with their baby. I think that’s my biggest take away so far from this parenthood thing; rather than cast negativity and doubt, let’s support parents and build a community that we can all learn from and receive support from. This job is very difficult, hard, and tedious at times but it is almost the most rewarding thing I know of in 36 years on this planet.
So, that’s our story of some firsts…what are yours?
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We get lots of doubt and negativity from family members and so it helps me when there are parents especially where I live now that have done similar things with their children. Although the family means well, it drives me nuts at times although I don’t show it. But my snappy comments hint at the fact that we are doing our own thing and what works for us. It has been two years since our daughters birth and only recently did I feel comfortable leaving her with a neighbor. The neighbor understands our lifestyle and her and her husband are like family. But you are correct in saying that we need to support parents especially new parents like yourself. We recently had our friends from NY come stay with us and they saw first hand how we work with Daniela. I saw how loving parents they were going to be and also how they differ in their ideas. It was great to share with them what has worked for us and that was the main thing we kept saying to them. Do what works for you but also look for people that are open minded to all parenting styles. I have not been reading the blog lately because the holidays are still in full swing in Puerto Rico. We are almost over with celebrations on Sunday will be the last set of gifts and then it is time to back up the tree. Keep writing Matt and Annie, and I will keep reading. Thanks for sharing your parenting journey.
@LucyMFel Lucy you are awesome! I agree with you completely. It really should be about being open minded and supportive toward one another! You guys seem like open minded folks that love their daughter, which is THE most important thing!! Cheers to you and Happy Holidays too!
I love it! You guys are doing an amazing job! Most importantly, you’re making your marriage a priority! The best security blanket you can give your child is “parents who love and respect each other”.
@Kelly Girl As you know Kelly, we can’t agree more that the marriage/ relationship has to take priority. I’ve seen too many situations when the parents don’t do this and it just seems like the household lacks happiness and the “feeling” of love. Thanks again for all of your support!! It means a lot!
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