The Things We Learn

Annie and I were recently chatting about all the different phases we have already experienced in parenthood from the moment we got pregnant to Sammy being four and a half months old. I’m actually blown away at how many phases can happen in such a short time.

The phase I’d like to talk about now is from birth to about the two to three month mark. I know everyone’s experience must be unique based on so many different variables but I think there is some base of commonality there as well.

Looking back from this perch we now sit on we have obviously learned a lot and weathered some impressive storms. For the first time parents, the first two to three months can be extremely overwhelming, mildly traumatic, and a whirlwind of “what the hell am I doing”.

My best advice to any new parents is to do a little bit less Googling, a little bit less listening to other people, and a little bit less worrying. You should surround yourself with positive people, find yourself a quality pediatrician that you really do trust (we love ours), and trust your instincts more.

When Sammy would cry and we couldn’t get him to calm down we use to beat ourselves up thinking we were horrible parents or that something was catastrophically wrong with him. All this even though we had been told that sometimes babies can cry for no reason. Hindsight is 20/20 as we all know, but the one thing that’s a little bit sad to me is that when you’re caught up in the whirlwind of being a new parent you don’t spend as much time appreciating the magical moment of life.

I feel Annie and I did pretty good trying to absorb those moments but the craziness of the hospital stay for the C-section, going home with a little tiny breathing human, trying to remember to breathe yourself, maintaining your own sanity, maintaining a marriage, and trying to work on top of it sure adds up. Being the perfect parent goes out the door on day one…so cut yourself a little slack. That’s why I think it is so vital to have positive people around you that truly care about you as well as having a pediatrician that can relieve your fears and worries.

In a country with so many single parents, Annie and I feel extremely fortunate and lucky to have each other to lean on when times feel a little stressed. We give each other little breaks of freedom from the little dude and we have implemented a date night each week which really does help. We also take him out with us a lot, mostly during the day on weekends and days off…this allows us to still feel social as well as get him used to our lifestyle.

Regardless of how much positivity people can give us, we still tend to listen to our own negative voice and other people’s negativity more…if you can find a way to manage that in those first few months it will benefit you to no end.

Are you going through these times right now or have you already? I’d be curious as to what you think about this period of time.