As you may or may not know, my wife and I have been on quite the journey the last six months; although, retrospectively, I would say we’ve unknowingly been on this journey since we met over four years ago.
When we started being able to verbalize (or realize) what our inner most goals were…we started seeing what we were doing that would not get us there and change our lives accordingly. Whether they were big changes or small changes, that is subjective, change is change. We’ve done everything from selling stuff, donating other stuff, or throwing things away because one of our biggest goals is to live simply in order to simply live.
As I have said before, we have also gone from 3,600 square feet, to 1,700 square feet, to our most recent move which landed us in an 800 to 1,000 square feet. I was worried and thought it would be a difficult adjustment because I thought we needed a lot of space to hoard crap…turns out this aspect has been easy.
I also thought there would be no way we could live with one refrigerator, umm, now worries…we are doing just fine. Kitchen cabinet space and size?? Again, we (mostly my wife) have adapted just fine. What will we do without a walk in closet?? I don’t know but we’re doing it.
My point in all this is that we are so quick to limit ourselves and set boundaries while at the same time setting these “measurements” in life in regards to what we should have and not have based on ego, greed, and jealousy. Why do you feel so powerful and cool in that Bentley you drive or that 2011 four door Porsche?? Are you so lost and insecure that pieces of metal and plastic with a cool paint job define YOU?
What I have been noticing over the years, and more drastically over the past 12 months, is that a goal of simplicity allows you to really be you…and define yourself in a whole new way. I’ve felt less weight on my shoulders, I forgive myself more, I’m more tolerant, I laugh more, my wife and I go for walks together almost every day, I’m sleeping better, and I make more sense to me.
I don’t have all the answers, and nobody does, but I do know that the more you have the more time you spend maintaining it. I also know that the more limitations and boundaries YOU create for yourself will take away from your enjoyment and fulfillment in this life. As well, if you are always trying to measure up to everyone else, you are doomed to fail and be miserable, because there will always be people that have more than you.
I firmly believe that each of us is capable of finding our ideal lifestyle, our ideal self…it already exists but we have buried it with years of crap and stuff. And what I’m saying is that it’s okay, and often required, to smack yourself around in order to wake up and realize this is our one shot…and ask yourself the dreaded question…Am I happy?? My bigger question to you is, after you ask yourself that question…will you step up to the plate and be honest with yourself?
Related articles
- A Life of Adventure (matthewliberty.com)
I love this growth you, individually and you & Annie, as a couple are experiencing. Tom & I have spent most of our 25+ years together working, working, working. We use to have fun, travel, etc. when we were a young couple and somehow as time progressed we just got so caught up in LIFE! Taking care of ailing parents and then burying them when they eventually passed on is the time we have pinpointed when our lives became so serious and all about work. I have no doubt whatsoever if he hadn’t developed Acute Leukemia we would still both be on that path until something happened to one of US…as in It was a nice life… What a wakeup call this last seven months has been! I wish I had a dollar for everytime I’ve thought in the past few months – Why are you upset about THIS (fill in the foolish somehting to worry about)? It’s nothing!
Cheers to you and Annie!
Cheri, I know you guys have been through a lot, and I wish you nothing but the best!! I’ve missed chatting with you via Twitter, which is why I ended up messaging you and emailing you to see if you were ok, not normal for you to not be around.
Anyways, I agree, there can be massive set backs in life…illness, having to take care of/ bury parents, or financial; and I always wonder what is the “right way” to handle with these situations…there is not correct answer, as individuals we will make those choices in the moment, often involuntarily.
But I have to believe that no matter how bad things get, we can make them a sliver better by choosing to put things in perspective, and never forgetting to live OUR life!!
Cheers Cheri, and thanks again!!