Yesterday I wrote about that bogus line “we don’t have a choice” and how absolutely inaccurate that is. We all have choices every single second of every single day (people, businesses, and governments all have choices). If you choose to sit and be the victim than that is your choice but if you choose to own how you will deal with an “unfair” life scenario…you win.
It goes back to something we’ve all heard, either you own the day or the day will own you. We’ve heard this worded a hundred different ways but it’s the truest thing I now understand after spending 20 to 25 years of my life blaming people and circumstances for all the crap.
It’s not fair that my grandfather died at the age of 67…I was only 18 years old. It’s even more unfair that he might have been helped by medical attention but since he practiced Christian Science he believed healing came from prayer, no medicine or doctors, period.
It isn’t fair that I had the childhood I had. It isn’t fair that I don’t have as much money as that guy I saw at the restaurant the other night. It’s not fair that I have five years of college but no degree. It’s not fair that I was born fair skinned. It’s not fair that I can’t afford to live in that big house I want. It’s not fair that the bank won’t chill out on that mortgage issue. It’s not fair that we had a miscarriage.
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
If we spent less time complaining about stuff and more time attempting to correct our position, our lives would be much better off. Imagine venting about a problem for 20 minutes instead of 20 days. Imagine looking in the mirror and figuring out what YOU can do about a situation instead of wasting your time being mad at someone else that refuses to change the situation for you.
When did we get so whiny? Why is it someone else’s responsibility to fix your crap? If you hit a brick wall…turn right, turn left, go over it, or go under it. The ability to use our adaptive skills and take ownership of our thoughts, our choices, and our perspective is all we’ve got my friends.
Expecting happiness to knock on your door and be presented to you in a pretty little box with a red bow is simply stupid. We, you and I, are NOT owed anything by anyone. The only person that owes me anything…is ME. If I loan you money and you don’t pay me back I have two choices, one choice would be to get pissed and hold a grudge which in actuality is allowing you to have partial ownership of me, or what I can do is learn from the situation and move forward. And by moving FORWARD I am choosing to LET GO of that “loan” or that “person” so I am not tied to the past.
Any time we choose to blame others or blame situations, we are only holding ourselves back from the life we SHOULD be living and the work we are here to do. Why give others the power to own you? Why give situations or circumstances the power to own you?
Maybe that miscarriage happened because the child was not viable and that was nature’s way. Perhaps that house you think you belong in just isn’t in the cards…maybe there’s a better situation coming down the road anyways. We don’t know, there are no crystal balls. Our lives never, EVER, go the way we think they should. I don’t live in the city I thought I would live in, nor do I live in the house I thought I would or do the work I thought I would be doing.
So let’s stop complaining, whining, and pouting over all “the stuff”, and refocus our energies and efforts on the new moment we are in. Choose to own your choices…and yes, I understand that you can choose to be a whiny basket case, but if that’s what you choose can you please do it quietly over there in the corner and stop trying to bring the rest of us down.
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Matt: This is really a great piece. Inspiring and real. Appreciate where you are coming from and couldn’t agree more!
I really appreciate that. I’m still navigating this life journey but one thing I know for sure is that we just don’t give ourselves credit for the choices we have in our life. Cheers, and thank you again!!